The date was June 27th, 2017. It was my first experience at Hesed House in Aurora, Illinois. To say that I was excited would be an understatement. I had been in the clinic seminar for approximately one hour, and I was ready to get to work. Not to work for pay, because I chose the unpaid Health Advocacy Clinic for the summer over a paid internship at a law office. I was ready to go to work, helping others who may not be able to hire private attorneys. I chose my passion. The beginning of my experience and one that I will never forget was my tour of Hesed House’s overnight shelter and transitional living quarters. The tour started in the lobby of Hesed House where a friendly volunteer answered phone calls and greeted guests and ended in the bright room of the Transitional Living Community where families sign up to spend quality time with their children in a warm and playful environment.
I entered this experience and environment with an open mind and really tried to come with no assumptions. However, it isn't often that you can really enter any situation completely free of assumptions or expectations. I realized that I did have some assumptions that I brought with me and later realized my experience didn't match them. My biggest assumption was that I wouldn't have an emotional reaction because I had been to many shelters before Hesed House. I had even volunteered at one to do guest registration and dispense personal hygiene items. Although I knew that I would be empathetic, I thought that I would be better able to keep my emotions in check.
During the tour I was learning a lot of information about Hesed House and how they operated; the intake process and guest requirements and their wide range of volunteers. I had an instant reaction. When I was walking through the hallway leaving the kitchen and entering the laundry room where guests were folding clothing, for a quick second I stopped being an observer. I stopped watching and learning about their home. I allowed myself to release a little and become human. I figured that was the only time where a guest wouldn't see the emotion on my face. They wouldn't assume, by my reaction, that I was judging them and subsequently judge me. My heart was breaking for the guests. My thought was that no one should have to sleep on pads on the floor in a room filled with people. There is no privacy and there is only room for very few personal possessions. I was sad because the children couldn't grow up in a home of their own with their personal beds and toys. I couldn't understand why the guests smiled as they greeted us in the kitchen and why the guests folding laundry did it with no complaints. I knew that I felt a wide a wide range of emotions in response to what I was seeing, but I didn’t understand these emotions very well.
It wasn't until I was driving home that I began to process all my feelings. I didn’t understand why I almost cried while touring Hesed House. It made me question my internal reactions. Although I was almost crying, I realized that I wasn’t sad or upset at all. They were happy tears. Through Hesed House, many volunteers and staff members have given these guests and families a second chance as well as a safe place to live. Above all, they have been given a reason to smile despite their circumstances. I learned that all tears aren't tears of sadness, even when you don't initially realize they are tears of joy. I'm so thankful I was given an opportunity to be a part of this experience and add to the resources that are available at Hesed House.
I entered this experience and environment with an open mind and really tried to come with no assumptions. However, it isn't often that you can really enter any situation completely free of assumptions or expectations. I realized that I did have some assumptions that I brought with me and later realized my experience didn't match them. My biggest assumption was that I wouldn't have an emotional reaction because I had been to many shelters before Hesed House. I had even volunteered at one to do guest registration and dispense personal hygiene items. Although I knew that I would be empathetic, I thought that I would be better able to keep my emotions in check.
During the tour I was learning a lot of information about Hesed House and how they operated; the intake process and guest requirements and their wide range of volunteers. I had an instant reaction. When I was walking through the hallway leaving the kitchen and entering the laundry room where guests were folding clothing, for a quick second I stopped being an observer. I stopped watching and learning about their home. I allowed myself to release a little and become human. I figured that was the only time where a guest wouldn't see the emotion on my face. They wouldn't assume, by my reaction, that I was judging them and subsequently judge me. My heart was breaking for the guests. My thought was that no one should have to sleep on pads on the floor in a room filled with people. There is no privacy and there is only room for very few personal possessions. I was sad because the children couldn't grow up in a home of their own with their personal beds and toys. I couldn't understand why the guests smiled as they greeted us in the kitchen and why the guests folding laundry did it with no complaints. I knew that I felt a wide a wide range of emotions in response to what I was seeing, but I didn’t understand these emotions very well.
It wasn't until I was driving home that I began to process all my feelings. I didn’t understand why I almost cried while touring Hesed House. It made me question my internal reactions. Although I was almost crying, I realized that I wasn’t sad or upset at all. They were happy tears. Through Hesed House, many volunteers and staff members have given these guests and families a second chance as well as a safe place to live. Above all, they have been given a reason to smile despite their circumstances. I learned that all tears aren't tears of sadness, even when you don't initially realize they are tears of joy. I'm so thankful I was given an opportunity to be a part of this experience and add to the resources that are available at Hesed House.
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